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Review: Nude Nuns with Big Guns

As advertised, it does feature a lot of nude nuns. I could argue about the big guns part but that’s neither here nor there.

The movie appears to be about a Catholic church organization and the gang they work with to package and sell heroin. The nuns cut and pack dope in the nude, save for their nun caps. The priests both count the money and go to whorehouses. The gang runs a strip club and a brothel where they take in doped up nuns to whore off to the highest bidder. And the gang leader has a penchant for killing everyone within a moments notice.

The story focuses on one such whored off nun and her quest for revenge. And my what a boring quest it is. I was hoping for an over the top blood feet when it came to the action sequences but they just felt very flat. No glibs or blood packs exploding anywhere. No limbs being severed (save one good scene with a phallus). Just a red dot or series of red dots to indicate someone was shot.

We began the night toasting with Four Loko and began watching with KiltLifter and Woodchuck Apple Cider. Minutes into the film we began talking over it. The dialogue was very flat, boring, and overall didn’t make much sense. The nudity, while present, wasn’t anything to merit a second viewing. If you’ve seen real nuns you know you wouldn’t want to see them nude. These were those kinds of nuns, not the busty strippers playing nuns we’d hoped for. The violence was underwhelming and the characters ultimately had nothing going for them. There was no overall backstory into why a church organization would be in on the heroin trade or why there were so many nuns eager to sign up when all they would get ultimately was either dead or shipped off to a whorehouse.

Grade: Rejected.

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Mr. Ricco

I don’t know how defense attorneys can sleep at night when they know their client is guilty. Must be the piles of money they are resting on.

Reblogged from Rock Me Dr. Zaius
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Decoys 2 Alien Seduction

So…they’re not really murderous aliens, but in fact are just hot naked chicks in hooker boots?

source: Monster Crap

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johnny-dynamo:

"WITCHBOARD" (1986)

I’m hoping something will drop off - know what I mean gents?

Reblogged from Rock Me Dr. Zaius
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The Turnpike Killer

B-Movie or just extra footage from a snuff film? You decide.